09
- June
2016
Posted By : talkingofchinese
Why I don’t have many friends

I have never held a dinner party with 10 of my closest friends.

I don’t have 10 people to invite.

I don’t have friends I see every weekend, I don’t even have friends I see every month.

A lot of people are surprised by this.

I’m a person who makes money with words – first as a journalist, then as an advisor in a political office and now as a communications consultant.

Talking to people is what I do.

I have interviewed government ministers, CEOs, scientists, artists, victims of crime, mums, dads, sons, daughters… you get the point.

I have never really met someone I couldn’t speak to. So, why don’t I have many friends?

I think it’s because I am a one-on-one kind of person.

While I don’t have people I can invite over for a dinner party, I can easily think of 10 people I’ve searingly connected with as individuals throughout my 28 years of life.

When I see these people, often with months or even years in between, lost ground is covered in minutes.

I met one of these people in Taiwan.

We would never have been put next to each other at a dinner party by friends who thought we had a lot in common. We don’t share any hobbies, our lives have been very different yet somehow we understand each other at  a level that runs far deeper than hobbies, jobs and general conversation.

When we said goodbye in the middle of a Taipei street in the middle of the night beside a waiting taxi I had no idea when I would see her again.

I still don’t.

But when I do, I know that months and years will become minutes.

Minion pic
Minion phone home? I saw this random forever alone minion sitting at public telephone in Japan.

 

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Comments

  • Those are the best kind of friends, the ones you see after a long time and it feels as it you saw them yesterday!

    • I so agree, I have friends who have extremely large groups of friends or acquaintances and they seem to spend a lot of time and energy maintaining these connections (often with people I am not even sure they really like), I just don’t have the energy for this or really see the point.

  • Do you miss talking to people? Or because you talk to people all the time, are you happy to go home and relax?

    • I miss spending time with far away friends and family more than I miss talking to them. Despite video chat and all the other wonderful ways we can catch-up it’s going for a walk with my mum or spending the afternoon at my best friend’s house drinking tea and chatting that I miss. This weekend I am actually going away to a cabin on a mountain with some close friends – this is the kind of thing I love to do but rarely do because I’m not one of those people that is good at organising group activities (you know how some people just excel at that?!)

  • Awwww!!! She sounds like my version of ‘Z.’ When you meet those people, it’s like instant connection from day one. They’re a once in a lifetime encounter. I’m in graduate school right now, and even though I’m meeting really interesting people everyday, none of them have hit me strongly like Z, or some of my other Shanghai friends did. Must be a destiny/fate thing.

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